resurfacing...

I have been so consumed with nursing school that everything else has taken a back seat. It is refreshing to come up for air, however brief. I am starting my second term now and created a study playlist... maybe it will be helpful :0)

Domestically Challenged?!

So as I am a full time student without a job for the first time in my adult life spring break= actual break. I was looking forward to "spring break" for weeks, most especially last week- remarking that I just needed to stop thinking about nursing for a bit- the problem is then what will I think about?I had planned to let go, get some sun... and try not to obsess too much over the little things. After looking at the weather for the remaining days of my break I can tell you sunshine is highly unlikely! It is rainy, gloomy, and grey for the rest of the week here, and everywhere within reasonable driving distance.

The bright side: no sunburn, that's about all I got. Don't get my started on the cons.

I cannot sit still, it is not in my nature to just be.... it would likely benefit me greatly sometimes but I am always busy.... by design. So if I cannot go to school, and I cannot pseudo-relax in a bathing suit what do I do? Monday I got a burst of energy, this is my spring break I will make the most of it. I kept Riley home with my and had some quality time, although after the weekend (Jay had duty on Saturday and went to GA for a good bit of Sunday) she and I were both kinda itching to get out of the house and back to our groove.

We had a good day, Riley helped me with some of the chores... which brings me to the realization I had regarding my domestic skills. I have never been known to be exceptionally talented in the kitchen (I can bake like nobody's business... but as for dinner... how many days a week can you eat scrambled eggs or grilled cheese?!) I have been so busy between family, job, school that my house failing to look like a page out of a pottery barn catalog, and lack of culinary expertise is understandable....expected even. This is only one week but for some reason I felt like I needed to make up for of these things now!!

I am a punchline when it comes to cooking really... there are a few things I can make well (all day, complicated things with far too many ingredients), and yet the thought of planning meals for the week and cooking simple things were monumental tasks. I spent most of the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, spending time coloring, watching TV, playing Barbie and miserably missing the nap which my daughter has outgrown... me not so much.

I avoided the issue, but after washing the remote control (which somehow survived!), running to McDonald's for lunch and ending up with a bigger mess than I started with.... have now come to realize: I am domestically challenged.

 How did I get here?

I hale from a long line of women (Italian) who have no concept of a hot meal (b/c they are constantly up from the table getting things or other people). I would have sworn my mother was secretly a short order cook with the things she would prepare mid-whine from her (admittedly) spoiled, and picky children.

When I was growing up I didn't think there was anything my mother could not do, I believe this even more to this day. She could cook, clean, mend, sew, be creative with my sister and I (we wrote books, painted, made pottery you name it!), and after we were in school full time she went back to work as a contracts administrator for engineering/contracting firms-- a job which I never thought suited her, my mom thinks on her toes, hates staring at computer screens or working indoors for too long, and artistic to this day, something I thank her for every day... Not to say you cannot be these things and work in her profession, but in my limited experience in this field I felt like an outsider. I was a circle peg in a square hole around the office. I liked "pretty things", decorated my cubicle with pictures, accessories and flowers....color coded graphs and charts, I would bring doughnuts and bagels for the entire office as often as I could just to collect everyone in the break room at one time without simultaneously ignoring each other or bickering over who was next in line for the microwave... I would always prefer to go talk to my co-workers instead of dial their extension or send an email.... and had on occasion frightened my manager by the assortment of highlighters I used.

Nonetheless...

My mom= super woman. My grandmother= super woman in her late 70's!

How did I come to be so domestically challenged?

First let me outline my high, or would it be low points:

• Ironing= putting something back into the dryer-- if it's too wrinkled for this measure it's unsavagable and must be rewashed... 
• Laundry= really easy to forget about... especially in the washer for a few days.... yuk!
• Cooking= I have had my fair share of run ins with undercooked food to now believe somewhere in my subconscious that whatever it "says" the meal should be cooked until-- do it at least 10 minutes longer.... we are destined to eat hockey puck, beef jerky textured food! Unless the crock pot is involved.... Thank god. 
• Planning Meals= Holy goodness! I am in nursing school for crying out loud, time management, critical thinking, organization it's being beaten into my head here people... but somehow I cannot manage to plan out a week worth of meals without:

  a) having some internal battle on whether or not these are "good" meals to have and obsessing over the alternates.
  b) picking meals that are entirely not possible on a week night... meaning if I need 5 hours to prepare it... it's not happening M-F for the most part.
  c) forgetting vital ingredients on the list and so when the time comes to make said meal I have tacos with no cheese, lasagna with no noodles... you get the picture!

I can clean at least.... but that's the least fun of all! :0/ lol
SO I have to say to all the stay-at-home moms, or just those super moms who seem to have it all together I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for you!!
I'm sure with time and a little luck and advice I'll get a knack for how to master some of the basics.
My husband is so supportive of everything, who I am, how I am... and self-sufficient... he irons.... and cooks... and talks me out of cooking a chicken casserole for 45 minutes....I am so blessed to have a wonderful family who loves me for me and with the rest of my week off I plan to finish the laundry (without any electronics hopefully), organize Ry's toys and keep it simple.... ;0)

Mommy's Girl

Inspired by fellow blogger Mrs. Muffins 's post "Like mother like daughter" who ironically enough shares bother her name and her daughters name with me and mine!! I decided to find my own look a like pictures with my mom and I, and my daughter and I. 

 

I'm on the left, my mom on the Right... I was 7 or 8 at the time, I believe my mom was a bit older but you get the idea.... 

 

Ry and I both born in July- so this is both of our third Halloweens! She may have her daddy's blond hair but I can see her momma in there too! :) 

“Making the decision to have a child - It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone

Have a fabulous weekend!  

Roller Coaster

Lately life has been a roller coaster... and despite wanting to cruise along I have found myself as I often do holding on for dear life- clinging to the details, distracting from the truth, and keeping all too busy-but neglecting to see the whole picture... In 10 years from now what about the good and bad of today will really matter?
We are fortunate to have orders to someplace in the states that we can see ourselves settling in to. Our dear friends who are expecting got the wonderful news of a baby girl! Friends that we consider family, and who despite whatever obstacles have been steadfast in their devotion to each other and to the family they are adding to now :0) and Riley's eyes after glasses, patching and surgery are straight and she is able to use both! Which sounds like a small victory, but binocular vision for Riley is a gift from God, and of course Nemours (Dr. Duss <3). We are so very thankful....
The lows have been tremendous as well... a very special, brave and amazing person in my family is fighting for her life against lymphoma- her spirit and bravery make everything else seem so small.... She will beat this, she believes it, I believe it, and she has the support of an entire community. Truly inspiring.
10 years from now, whether or not we live here or there, whether I get an A in my pharmacology class... does it really matter?
No. Being as good a mother, wife, friend and person that I can... THAT is what matters.
No doubt the world is collectively grieving for those injured, killed and affected by the earthquake in Japan are pausing to put into perspective how precious life is. I watched with baited breath today for posts of a dear friend and her children who are stationed in Japan... relocating there just a few months ago. Her bravery, strength, and determination to survive amazed me.

These women, and so many other people I am so blessed to have in my life are beautiful in every way.
I have been ill- mostly forgetting I am human, I have to breathe, relax, eat, sleep... just be. Somehow I seem to forget those little vital things which I read about, study about, and preach to others about... taking your own advice is always the hardest isn't it....
Everything has been put into perspective.....  

When life is like a roller coaster.... remember who you are, and what is important at the end of the ride. 

Donate now! :)

Relief for Japan   




God Bless..

  

Stress, Silly Sandwiches and Seeing the light

What a week! The title sums it up, stress, silly sandwiches for two sweet little girls (my daughter and her best friend) and seeing light at the end of the tunnel through reaching back to an old favorite of mine: Peace is Every Step -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Lets cut to the chase... our family is awaiting orders, we have been fortunate to be here in Jacksonville for five and a half years! Almost unheard of for military families. Our life began here and so the thought of leaving (even though we always knew it was likely to happen... and even though it will not be forever) is paralyzing at times. The wait in limbo to know your family's fate is even more so.... but nothing that we didn't sign up for, nor something that we cannot perservere. <3  On to more fun things...

Monday my daughter and I had a play day (no school for either of us!) and had her best friend with us for the day. We had a blast. Especially at lunch with our silly sandwiches :0) peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (no crust of course lol) faces, baby carrot hair, yogurt covered raisin eyes and an apple wedge mouth. The girls thought it was hilarious... and delicious in the end.

Through the stress and less sleep than I should I began to question myself more and more, and see doubt everywhere I turned. So I turned to a book given to me many years ago by a very wise coworker... it has seen me through, and helped me to remember what is truly important. 

"Breathe! You are Alive"
"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it.... "
"We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive. Every breath we take, ever step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.... Peace is every step. We shall walk hand in hand" 

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

Peace is Every Step :Mindfulness Everyday

I have been frightened, humbled, challenged, and triumphant this week. Looking forward to the next :) 

Grandma's Chicken Soup

I have successfully made my grandmother's chicken soup!! (well pretty close anyway).
My grandmother Irene would make chicken noodle soup and used some surprising ingredients that are both nutritious and give the soup a wonderful flavor I always remembered as a child. Grandma would make hers in a large pot on the stove all day of course, mine is broken into two- so I could utilize the ever versatile (and my most prized cooking vessel ever) crock pot.

Miss you grandma

* 1 (3 pound) whole chicken (mine was pre-quartered which helped expedite things)

* 3/4-1 cup baby carrots (about two handfuls)

* 2 Stalks of celery- chopped
* 1/2 large onion diced
* Parsnip (1 large,peeled and chopped)
* Turnip (1-2 diced into larger chunks)
* 1/2-3/4 cup peeled and diced potatoes
* Handful of fresh parsley
* 1 package of egg noodles
* water to cover
* salt and pepper to taste
* 1 chicken bouillon cube (optional)

Part 1 (night before you intend to have chicken soup for supper)
Directions

1. In a large pot cover the chicken with cold water, and add some salt and pepper and the bouillon cube. Heat and simmer, uncovered, until the chicken meat falls off of the bones. * Now I am pretty sure my grandmother used the entire chicken, however I am a bit of a sissy with gizzards, so my chicken was without). This took 45 minutes- 1 hour but it was with little to no maintenance so I was able to go about the evening without giving the boiling chicken much attention.

2. Once chicken is fully cooked (and you'll know, stick a fork into the leg and come up with a shred of meat as the rest falls back into the pot and off the bone.... and you're there). Remove the chicken from the water and remove meat from the bones placing in a storage container, add a bit of the chicken stock from the pot to keep meat moist. (I would recommend after cooling- but I was impatient and burnt my fingers picking the meat from the bones while it was hot... I remember my husband hesitantly asking, can we wait till it cools, or did your grandma not do it that way- :p). You have now successfully made your own chicken stock as well! Pour the stock into a large tall container (I used an iced tea pitcher) and refrigerate, along with the chicken.

3. Now if you are chipper in the morning, or are in no hurry to get out of the house in the morning (with a 3 year old in tow) you can stop here. All of the chopping can be done in the morning. For me, I chopped all of the vegetables for the soup with exception of the potatoes and parsley and mixed them together in another storage container for the night.

Day2
1. My mornings are bleary eyed, chaotic and we are lucky to get out the door in one piece hence my prep the night before.
Add cooked chicken, stock, chopped veggies. You will need to peel and dice 2-3 potatoes and grab and rinse the parsley but otherwise you a good to dump everything in the crock pot, leaving room for approx. 1 cup of water in addition to the chicken stock.
Set crock pot to low for 6-8 hours (typical work/school day, so by the time I am home it is ready!).

2. My grandmother always cooked the egg noodles separately, and poured the soup over them, much like spaghetti, it is a tradition I too adopted as adding them earlier on would have resulted in soggy noodles and starchy soup. I cooked egg noodles separately using salt sparingly when boiling given their addition to the chicken soup. Once finished and strained I portioned out bowls of noodles (1/2 way) and ladled hot chicken soup over them. I had enough to freeze two large servings (2-3 people) and refrigerate two mini servings for my daughter/me.

Ta-da! Enjoy :0)

March of Dimes

Change-a-comin

Change, it can be difficult for everyone, and children are no exception. As evidenced by the copy of "Who moved my cheese" in the bathroom (which if you have never read... you should, and which they also carry an illustrated children's version of by the way) I too have difficulty coping with expected and unexpected changes in life. I feel one of the biggest mistakes we make as parents is forgetting that our children are not simply little adults, but they are people. Little people with a full range of emotions, without the complete capacity to always express those emotions or cope with things particularly well.

Arguably some children who are most farmiliar with change are those with a parent or parents in the military. Deployments, exercises, even an overnight duty can bring about a sense of anxiety and stress for children.  This can manifest in ways we as adults may not percieve as ineffective coping mechanisms but rather defiance or manipulation (not that those are completely out of the question - greatly dependent on the age and developmental stage of the child). 

Children may be more "clingy" and desire more attention and physical contact from you the parent, or a child who previously abandoned his blankey may begin toting it with him everywhere. This form of regression is normal, and expected. It is actually healthy for the child to have a mechanism (be it a blankey, song, movie) to cope with their feelings. (2005 Ceridian. Militaryonesource) I can speak from the experiences with my daughter that acknowledging her feelings "I know you miss daddy, I miss daddy too, but he will be home soon, lets make him a card to send him"  and giving her tools to express those feelings helps tremendously to give her a sense of empowerment and control, which when everything in your world, or things which are particularly important are changing- the feeling of control can be vital.

Drawing pictures, talking about feelings to enhance your child's "emotional vocabulary" if you will encourages them to express how they are feeling in relation to the change as opposed to suppressing or denying how they are feeling only to later resent or "act out" as a means of expressing themselves.  Talking about the change before hand and giving your child time to ask questions, process the change and begin the coping process can be most helpful in children old enough to understand the concept of time. 

Specifically with my daughter, who has endured an equal number of deployments to years of age (3) I have attempted to help her as much as I can cope with the change of her daddy not being home everyday. 

The first deployment Riley was 1 month old, therefore she was unable to even recognize or understand something was missing for a time. I made it a point to talk about daddy on a regular basis, I attached a few pictures of him to her mobile and on some of her other toys and books so she was familiar with his face. We had my husband record himself reading a story for her so she could hear his voice (in later deployments my husband made videos, both before his deployment and also during- which he would mail to us, it was truly a treat for us both to see his face, and hear his voice).  As she got older and became more aware of some of the differences in her family and others (identifying daddy's, and being able to say my daddy is on a boat - since her father is in the NAVY, but not fully understand what that meant) we continued using audio, visual and reinforcement on a daily basis and began equipping her with some tools to express how she felt without her daddy home. Riley would sing and make videos for her father, she would draw pictures and send them to him, we would keep her daily pictures and reports from daycare and send them along with care packages to my husband.  Giving a concrete date of return in risky, as a military spouse knows there are countless reasons that can delay their spouses return home, days, weeks or sometimes months. The dissappointment from "putting all your eggs in one basket" only to realize that what you have pinned your hopes on is not happening (yet) can be devestating. I try to avoid actual dates and in a more general sense talk about homecoming after Christmas for example, that gives the child a reference, and something to look forward to- something you can point out on a calender and say after this time daddy/mommy will be home. 

Most importantly of all is support, for not only the child, but for the parent as well. Sometimes You are not alone is exactly what you and your child need to hear... 

One day at a time.... 

Great references for information on coping with military life, deployments and children can be found @ 

Books for brats.com  

"like Dr. seuss for military brats"  - washington times 

 

Operation Military Kids- Change Article 

Military One Source

 Flat Daddies: Life size, printed posters of deployed loved ones

Surviving Deployment.com: Great information & resources for military families 

Fleet & Family Support          Military Home Front               Military.com

Children see. Children Do... Never Gets old

What is it about grocery stores?

Before I was a mom I can recall strolling through the grocery store shaking my head at a hysterical child/infant/toddler. I asserted myself, "MY children will never embarress me like that" Statements like "If it were my child I would......" "My parents would have never...." and the list goes on. The fact of the matter is until I was a parent, I could not fathom how unpredictable and amazing these little people truly are.

Flash forward several years and I AM that mom with the hysterical child in the middle of the grocery store. For no particular reason at all (is there ever really?) having my daughter decide she would no longer like to cooperate in finishing the grocery shopping, in fact my lack of ability to outsmart, trick, distract, bribe  or otherwise diffuse the situation resulted in the dissapproving stares and smirks of those, who like I once, were completely unaware at the shear intensity and determination a toddler can have to disrupt the flow and express herself.
I also saw the empathy and understanding in other mom's and dad's who skirted along both offering a quick comforting glance or kind word without risking upsetting the balance in their own cart microcosm...they understood, they could relate and most of them were praying beyond a hope that they did not have to share the same fate of grocery store hijinks.
I can understand better some of the  varying degrees of coping I remember observing before Riley... ranging from an expression of pure exhaustion and defeat,ultimatively "giving in" to pacify the insanity, to anger and storming out of the store, to calm assertivness and some verbal repremand that was effective at times, and simply a catalyst to a further meltdown in others, to what appeared to be complete apathy and "la la land." I understand these personas becase I have been every one of them at one point or another. 

I have a friend who after working in a grocery story for many years recently and quite comically posed the question "What is it about grocery stores that makes all children scream at the top of their lungs for no reason at all?" I simply smiled to myself and said "maybe it's the lighting" lol. The fact of the matter is children will find ways to be... children and no matter the setting given the right ingredients ANY child can catch even the most put together parent off guard with an instant transformation into this little person screaming like a banshee over poptarts who bears no resemblance to your child....

So, the next time you see a screaming child, a frazzled parent, or even a parent who seems to be ignoring it all- remember she/he is coping to the best of their ability right now... and walking a mile in the shoes of that parent is a long hard road.

So what can you do? Depending on the age of the child and their personality you may be able to get by with a quick "knock it off" or it may entail a full on exercise in futility to reach the sanctity of the parking lot and your car.

I unfortunately know no magic, there is no pressure point, herbal mist or woosaa mechanism I have found and  to be honest no one knows your child better than you. Try to put yourself in their shoes (mismatched, untied, on the wrong feet, or my personal (and Riley's too) favorite rain boots and a too-too in the middle of July without a cloud in the sky), and remember children are not simply little adults.
On that note I am known to have a hissy fit or two when things are disappointing to me.... We are all constantly works in progress and knowing that can help ease the days when you feel as though you are wearing a plaque around your neck with the words "had about enough" on it.

One (potentially) helpful suggestion I have is to consider outdoor food markets. Buying local supports our growers and farmers in and around Jax and can not only give you a change of scenery but the opportunity to network with other parents in the community, get some sunshine (fingers crossed), and maybe do something you will both enjoy with your morning.

Links for information on  Farmers Markets here in Jacksonville, and throughout FL are linked below, along with the River City Arts Market which has booths that not only offer fresh produce, bread etc. but also the opportunity to turn gathering this weeks provisions into an enriching and stimulating environment for the whole family.

Information on all Florida Farmers Markets : Florida-agriculture.com

And in closing....
From one of my favorites: The Bounce Back Book by Karen Salmansohn 

"Tip #17 The only true observer of your world and your issues is you"

"During bad times, if you feel embarrassed by what others are thinking about you, fear not. Most people aren't thinking about all the things wrong in your world. They're too caught up with all the things wrong in their own worlds"

No one ever said this would be easy...

Found this note from about a year ago... So much has changed, and yet so much remains as if it were written yesterday.... and yes I still worry.

Mom's(still) Worry....

by Nikki Barajas Vineyard on Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 10:24pm

Parenting is tough. No one ever said it would be easy, or you would always know that what you were doing is the right thing. I feel challenged by it daily, more than anything it is my own insecurity about the decisions I am making that makes it such a challenge. My daughter is happy and healthy and smart beyond belief, she wants for nothing, is well loved and cared for. And I simply cannot enjoy these facts without criticizing the things I have done wrong.
That is my worst fault as a parent, and one that I hope to improve, though it is difficult.

I am sure these are thoughts that my mother, and all mothers have had at some time... am I doing the right thing? There never is a flashing sign or manual that can tell you what the right thing is, in the end you just do your best and hope that things turn out the way you would like them to....

I am certain I am not the first (nor the last) to feel judged by another person, to feel the glare of disapproval and the sting of condescension when they inform me about how they (or someone else they know) does things.

There is no doubt that I care about my daughter, or that I am doing the best I possibly can to raise her the way I think is best. I am a bit overprotective, this I know, and I hope to relax as time passes, I am terrified at the thought of just slinging her along like an accessory, or neglecting to realize that she has thoughts and feelings and wants just like I do, and that they are no less important than my own.
I hope I can find balance between attending to her every need despite myself, and neglecting her emotionally.

I think sometimes I feel guilty that I am her only parent a lot of the time. With my husband gone I am all she has for months on end, and I can't let her down, not for a day, or a moment. I feel a strong obligation to be both parents and not just be satisfied with the best I can do... it has to be more. 


 

 

One Day at a time... we make it through, as a family. I am so very blessed. 

"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't. I give myself reasons why I can"

-- author unknown

 

American Heart Month= CPR♥

February is American Heart Month 

In honor of this I thought I would share some of my experiences and information....
As a parent one of the most frightening things I could imagine would being helpless when my child needed me. Infant and child CPR courses are an ideal way to give yourself confidence, control and knowledge of how to help your child in an emergency.

There are many ways to learn CPR, you could check youtube for crying out loud, but I have found that physically practicing the act of compressions helps to build confidence in your skills and a mastery of this lifesaving educational material.
John Hopkins University Case Study on the Infant CPR anytime course affirms the curriculum works and is well received.

The American Heart Association (AHA) CPR anytime allows self directed courses are based on the traditional Family and Friends CPR courses and have "been research-proven to be equivalent to the traditional course for learning the core skills of CPR."

  Specifically the child/infant CPR Anytime course was developed in coordination with the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). In 30 minutes or less for the cost of $34.95 you can learn how to perform CPR and perform maneuvers to prevent your child from choking! 


 I was fortunate enough to work in health care when my daughter was an infant, and so CPR was something I was required to know, it gave me the sense that even though there were so many things about this little person I didn't know or understand yet I felt confident that I was no longer helpless in the case of an emergency with my baby.
I would encourage parents, and parents-to-be to consider the investment (or get a group of parents together to share the set or do as a group). Courses are even offered for Children to understand and perform CPR- could save their parent/grandparent or friend's life!

  John Hopkins University Case Study on the Infant CPR anytime course affirms the curriculum works and is well received.

More information about AHA CPR courses can be found online @ 

 Peoples Choice CPR   

 

Driving away from the wreck of the day

Today I felt Anna Nalick said it best "Driving away from the wreck of the day and the lights always red in the rear view"

I have long identified myself with my job- because I loved it! So losing it, was like losing a part of me today. Granted it is for the greater good, and I am fortunate to have family and friends who are supportive, I can't help but feel like today was a wreck of a day. Here's to tomorrow...

Nikki Barajas Vineyard Dear Parents:
As a number of you already know I have recently began nursing school at FSCJ. Despite my best efforts I am unable to continue my position with Rainbow Pediatrics. I am concentrating my time on my studies and family.
I am happy about my new learning opportunity and future nursing skills, but very sad to be... leaving such a wonderful office where I am so fortunate to feel like family. The last three years here have been such a blessing and I have learned and grown in many ways as I have had the privilege to watch your children learn and grow.
Thank you so much for making my time at RPC unforgettable and a place I am very proud and honored to have had a hand in. I invite any of you who would like to keep in touch, and I will be certain to see some of you around in the community.
My very best wishes for the future go out to each and every one of you and your most precious children whom I have truly grown to love.
Love, (someday Nurse) Nikki